With National Singing Day being yesterday and all the high school seniors deciding where there taking their talents to play college football. We decided to make today National Pit Crew Signing Day. Below is a list of all the athletes that got left out of yesterdays festivities and were picked up by some of the major Nascar teams. Please take a look and see if how your favorite teams ended up with their recruits. (2013 recruiting class)

Joe Gibbs Racing
3
Jack Jackhammer

Position…..Any
Sport…….Part of the Polk High arm wrestling team
Hometown…….Chisel Rock, TN
Strengths…Known as an all around bad-ass, he displays the ability to pit at many different positions.
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Michael Waltrip Racing
1
Angus Atkins

Position……Tire Changers
Sport…….Grew up playing no sports and still has no athletic ability. Thinks he could make an outstanding Changer.
Hometown…….Detroit, MI
Strengths…Has no past experience but has stolen a car before and said he got the nuts busted off faster than 13 seconds.


CGR
11
Katlego Chuks

Position…..Rear Tire Carrier
Sport…….If you consider Craps a sport he’s your guy. Two time all metro Craps thrower with great hands.
Hometown……Fort Myers, FL
Strengths….Has the hand eye of a real athlete and can soft throw a seven any time he wants. If he can hit nuts like he throws dice he’ll be one to watch next year.


JTG Racing
15
Baron “Bear” Bryant

Position……Front Carrier
Sport…….Spent most of his time in church league softball but showed great strength at the combine
Hometown…….Tuscaloosa, AL
Strengths….Legend has it he once smoked a pack of cigs and then ran a mile in under 6 minutes, freaky athletic.
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Penske Racing
7
Trace Blaze

Position…..Rear Tire Changer
Sport…….Excelled in bear pong for most of his adult life.
Hometown…….Durango, MT
Strengths….Loves the team sponsor and figures to excel at changing tires and drinking beer.
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Richard Childress Racing
14
Garth Stetson

Position……Front or Rear Changer
Sport…….Spent his high school days building guns and competing in local “GUN” shows
Hometown……Odesa, TX
Strengths….His experience with guns is unmatched. Figures to have an advantage on the rest of the recruits. Just recently got a tattoo that says “Welcome to the gun show” on his back shoulders.


Hendrick Motorsports
2
Maximus

Position…..Front Tire Changer
Sport…….Was part of the wraslin team before getting kicked off for an illegal drop kick. Overall stud and he knows it.
Hometown……Newport News, VA
Strengths….This could be the steal of the draft if Maximus can live up to his billing. He lives by the quote “to be the best you have to beat the best”, and know one has beat him yet.


Roush/ Fenway Racing
6
Ish Esikia

Position……Gas Man
Sport…….Was part of the hit reality show Amish Mafia before turning his attention to Gassing.
Hometown…….Lancaster, PA
Strengths….Ish is much faster than he gets credit for. His speed and quickness will come in handy when fueling a car. Look for his beard to catch on fire at some point during the year.


RPM
13
Kwame Darnell Ducet Jones III

Position…..Jack Man
Sport…….Played Linebacker at the University of South Carolina. Never really played but was on the team.
Hometown…….Hickory, NC
Strengths….His strength and quickness has him ranked as the #1 Jack Man on signing day. He has been quoted as saying, “anytime you get a chance to Jack for a legend like Kyle Power–you take it”.
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Michael Waltrip Racing
18
Dream Chasers

Position……Turn Key Team
Sport…….Before turning their attention to pit crewing, Dream Chasers spent time on the courts as a turn key basketball team.
Hometown…….Augusta, GA
Strengths….This is the total package, you can just look at these guys and success is written all over their faces. Look for these 5 guys to make a major impact on pit road.


Joe Gibbs Racing
4
Brad Smith

Position…..Gas Man
Sport…….Arena League Football
Hometown……Lincoln, NE
Strengths….With his background as a defensive tackle in the arena league he figures to be best friends with Coach Gibbs. Great pick up for the JGR group.
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Front Row Motorsports
8
Willie Stroker

Position……Front Tire Carrier
Sport…….Was second team all metro as a catcher in baseball and since his arrest has been limited to the field.
Hometown…….Low Cut, OK
Strengths….He once bench pressed a midget at the local fair and one 4th prize. His strength as a carrier should be no problem.


Penske Racing
16
Imac Smithers

Position…..Not sure
Sport…….More of a mathlete than athlete. Says his IQ alone should be good enough to pit.
Hometown…….Silversprings, FL
Strengths….He bench presses over 110 pounds, squats 115, and can do 4-8 sit ups during any two minute time period. A true Mathlete.


Hendrick Motorsports
17
Teriaki Hibachi

Position……Changer
Sport…….Was training to be an ultimate fighter until his lack of aggression caught up with him.
Hometown……Compton, CA
Strengths….Teriaki says his strengths will be patience and his hair cut, both are very valuable.
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Roush/ Fenway Racing
12
Zig Zag

Position…..Rear Tire Carrier
Sport…….Spent a little bit of time in Adult films but has since worked on his trademark zig zag hair cut.
Hometown……Fort Mill, SC
Strengths….Has great endurance and can think on the go. Never gets anxious or impatient and can always hold out until the adjustment is called. Rock solid guy.


Stewart Hass Racing
19
Theodore Frinkle

Position……Front Tire Carrier
Sport…….Worked as a line judge at Wimbledon and has unbelievable hand eye coordination.
Hometown…….?
Strengths….Look to see Theodore breaking down film or studying science if pit crewing doesn’t work out for him.
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FREE AGENT
10
Christmas Abbott

Position…..Front Tire Changer
Sport…….Crossfit
Hometown…….Not sure
Strengths…Very good at marketing and fitness competitions.
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Readers Comments (2)

  1. fast25

    Hilarious!

  2. Jackman47

    That’s good stuff!!


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